日常幽默生活句子短句英语(向生活低头的幽默句子)

1.
Why
don't
scientists
trust
atoms?
Because
they
make
up
everything.
【笑话】

2.
I
told
my
wife
she
was
drawing
her
eyebrows
too
high.
She
looked
surprised.
【幽默】

3.
I
don't
always
go
to
the
gym,
but
when
I
do,
I
make
sure
everyone
on
Facebook
knows
about
it.
【自嘲】

4.
My
wife
asked
me
to
help
decorate
the
Christmas
tree.
I
said
"Sure,
what
color
should
we
paint
it?"
【愚蠢】

5.
I
accidentally
gave
my
wife
a
glue
stick
instead
of
chapstick.
She
still
isn't
talking
to
me.
【糊涂】

6.
I
can't
believe
I
got
fired
from
the
calendar
factory.
All
I
did
was
take
a
day
off.
【玩笑】

7.
I
named
my
laptop
"Titanic"
so
when
it
freezes
up,
I
can
say
"It's
sinking!"
【爆笑】

8.
My
doctor
told
me
to
start
breaking
a
sweat
every
day.
So
I
started
lying
to
him
about
my
exercise.
【无奈】

9.
I
used
to
play
Pokemon
Go,
but
now
I
play
"Pokemon
No"
because
I
can't
afford
data.
【穷人】

10.
Why
did
the
tomato
turn
red?
Because
it
saw
the
salad
dressing.
【俏皮话】

11.
My
wife
said
she's
leaving
me
because
of
my
obsession
with
pasta.
I
said
"Please
don't
say
spaghetti. "
【自嘲】

1
2.
My
girlfriend
asked
me
to
whisper
something
sweet
in
her
ear.
So
I
whispered
"I
have
a
frozen
yogurt
gift
card. "
【冷酷】

1
3.
I'm
not
great
at
the
advice,
can
I
interest
you
in
a
sarcastic
comment?
【冷嘲热讽】

1
4.
If
you
think
nobody
cares
if
you're
alive,
try
missing
a
couple
of
credit
card
payments.
【调侃】

1
5.
I'm
not
arguing,
I'm
just
explaining
why
I'm
right.
【自信】

1
6.
Why
did
the
chicken
cross
the
playground?
To
get
to
the
other
slide.
【幼稚】

1
7.
I
finally
realized
why
my
plants
weren't
growing.
They
need
more
sunlight,
not
more
Country
music.
【幽默】

1
8.
The
best
way
to
remember
your
wife's
birthday
is
to
forget
it
once.
【经验】

1
9.
I
tried
to
organize
a
professional
hide
and
seek
tournament,
but
it
was
a
complete
failure.
Good
players
are
hard
to
find.
【失败】

20.
My
dog
ate
my
homework.
It's
true!
Our
school
has
an
online
system
and
I
forgot
to
save
my
file,
so
I
printed
out
the
assignment
for
safekeeping.
And
then
the
dog
ate
it.
【借口】